Finding Adoptive Parents

Once you understand how private adoption works and have connected with a licensed and ethical adoption professional, the next challenge is to find the right family for your child. Use our step-by-step guide to make the process a little easier.

Set Your Parameters

Before you start considering potential adoptive parents, you should meet with your social worker to determine which characteristics are most important to you in a family for your child.

Understand that there is no such thing as a perfect adoptive family, so finding one that meets every single one of your preferences is unlikely.

Prioritizing your preferences and identifying which ones are non-negotiable and which ones you can be flexible about will help ensure that you choose a family that aligns with your values and will meet your child's needs.

Consider Waiting Families

Your agency or attorney should work hard to help you find a family you love and who fits your criteria. AdoptMatch Partners can share access to AdoptMatch’s Adoptive Parent Gallery, which includes hundreds of profiles of waiting families from all different ethnicities, faiths, and backgrounds throughout the U.S.

Every family in the AdoptMatch Gallery is home-study-approved and working with an adoption professional who understands the importance of ethical standards in adoption and is committed to making sure that everyone involved is supported and treated fairly. Families never pay a fee to be in the AdoptMatch Gallery. They're invited in because of their commitment to safe and healthy adoption.

Your social worker or attorney will make sure that the families they present have all the information about your specific circumstances they need before asking to be considered, including your social/medical history, birth father, financial needs, and your perspective on open adoption.

If you don’t see any families who meet your criteria, your agency or attorney will use their professional network of other licensed and ethical professionals to keep looking for families who do!

Gather Information

Your child is counting on you to find the right adoptive family. Now is not the time to be shy. Ask hard questions, even if it feels awkward. Don’t worry about the adoptive family’s privacy. Be choosy. If you need more information, ask to see a copy of the family’s home study. Remember, the number of children being placed for private adoption is much lower than the number of families hoping to adopt, so you have lots of options. Your social worker should guide you through this process and gather all the information you need about each family you are considering.

Meet The Families

The adoptive family’s profile, also known as the "Dear Birthmother Letter," provides a brief introduction to who they are, but you need a lot more information before making a decision. FaceTime or Zoom calls can be helpful, but whenever possible, it's important to meet in person before making any decisions or "matching" with an adoptive family. Potential adoptive parents should be willing to travel to meet you in person, even if they live far away.

Commit and Plan

Once you have chosen a family, you should be the one to tell them about your decision. Don’t leave this important conversation to your social worker or attorney. If possible, plan to spend time with the family during your pregnancy. Building a strong, trusting relationship with your child's adoptive parents will take time. Open and honest communication with them will help you feel more confident about your choice.

We’re here to help.

5 STEPS TO FINDING THE RIGHT FAMILY FOR YOUR CHILD

Finding Adoptive Parents

Once you understand how private adoption works and have connected with a licensed and ethical adoption professional, the next challenge is to find the right family for your child. Use our step-by-step guide to make the process a little easier.

Set Your Parameters

Consider Waiting Families

Gather Information

Meet The Families

Commit and Plan

Do you have more questions?

Feel free to reach out.

AdoptMatch connects expectant mothers to a community of licensed, ethical, and compassionate adoption providers and their waiting adoptive families.

AdoptMatch is an initiative of Ethical Family Building, a nonprofit organization working to safeguard domestic adoptions through education, transparency, and accountability.